This year I experienced the dubious pleasure of knowing that I'd outlasted the corporeal incarnation of some one's Lord and Saviour, Jesus H Christ. This put me to thinking, that I could map my life against the lives and deaths of famous people; having already convincingly beaten such luminaries as Gram Parsons and Jimi Hendrix, I should create a series of short-term targets (short term being the only ones I can ever really achieve given that my attention span is shorter than 140 characters) against which to measure my lifespan. Every victory is valid, regardless of the intrinsically pointless or pyrrhic nature thereof.
So here it is, my guide to outliving the rich and famous. Well, not guide exactly, more a list of people about whom I can feel smug for having managed to not kill myself over a greater period of time. Which reminds me, I forgot to celebrate Sylvia Plath's death three years ago.
I've already crossed out Jesus, so next stop - Charlie 'Birdman' Parker. You can play along too - simply cut out and cross off. Of course, if any more appealing celebrities die in the mean time, feel free to substitute them wherever you wish. I chose mainly literary figures and the great dictators, but to each his own as they say.
Special Birthday Milestones –
Who gets outlived next?
34 - Charlie Parker 1955, Simone Weil 1943
35 - Andy Kaufman 1984
36 - Bob Marley 1981, Diana, Princess of Wales 1997, Marilyn Monroe 1962
37 - Michael Hutchence 1997
38 - George Gershwin 1937
39 - Martin Luther King, Jr. 1968, Malcolm X 1965, “British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith 2002
40 – John Lennon 1980, Ismail Enver “Pasha” Efendi 1922
41 – Cesare Pavese 1950, Nate Dogg 2011
42 – Robert Kennedy 1968, Elvis Presley 1977
43 – Lorenzo Di Medici - 1492
44 – Pablo Escobar 1993, Billie Holiday 1959, F. Scott Fitzgerald 1940
45 – Jose Doroteo Arango Arambula “Pancho Villa” 1923
46 – John F Kennedy 1963
47 – Judy Garland 1969
48 – Al Capone 1947
49 – George Lincoln Rockwell 1967
50 – Michael Jackson 2009
51 – Napoleon Bonaparte 1821
52 – Abbie Hoffman 1989
53 - Vladimir Ilyich Lenin 1924
54 – Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden 2011
55 – Emily Dickinson 1886
56 – Adolf Hitler 1945
57 - Mustafa Kemal Ataturk 1938
58 – Richard Burton 1984
59 – Oliver Cromwell 1658, Michel Eyquem de Montaigne 1592
60 – Benedict Arnold 1801
61 – Benito Mussolini 1945
62 – Kenneth Williams 1988, Emile Zola 1902
63 – Lee Marvin 1987
64 - Slobodan Milosevic 2006, Francois Duvalier 1971
65 – Walt Disney 1966, Miles Dewy Davis III 1991
66 – Indira Gandhi 1984, Cesar Estrada Chavez 1993
67 – Hunter Stockton Thompson 2005, George Washington 1799
68 – William “Bill” Shankly 1981, Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra 1616
69 - Saddam Hussein 2006
70 – Stanley Kubrick 1999
71 – Pedro Albizu Campos 1965
72 – Saloth “Pol Pot” Sar 1998
73 – Charles Bukowski 1994
74 - Joseph Stalin 1953, Donatien Alphonse Francois, Marquis de Sade 1814, Samuel Langhorne “Mark Twain” Clemens 1910
75 – John Birks “Dizzy” Gillespie 1993, Timothy Leary 1996, Alfred Dreyfus 1935
76 – Noel Coward 1973, Joseph Heller 1999
77 – Bob Paisley 1996, Jules Verne 1905
78 - Idi Amin Dada 2003, Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi 1948
79 - Ho Chi Minh 1969
80 – Marlon Brando 2004
81 - Antonio de Oliveira Salazar 1970
82 - Mao Zedong 1976, Francisco Franco 1975, Kaiser Wilhelm II 1941
83 – Samuel Beckett 1989
84 – Kurt Vonnegut Jnr 2007, Sir Isaac Newton 1727
85 – Richard Strauss 1949, Agatha Christie 1976
86 – Nikola Tesla 1943, Susan Brownell Anthony 1906
87 - Josep Broz Tito 1980, Emperor Hirohito 1989
88 – Harry S Truman 1972, Robert Frost 1963
89 – Grand Ayatollah Sayyed Ruhollah Mostafavi Moosavi Khomeini 1989
90 – Winston Churchill 1965
100 – Bob Hope 2003
120 – Moses 1271BC
950 – Noah 2000BC
969 – Methuselah 1656AM
Comments
Post a Comment